Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice

Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win

Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me



my dream is to one day make enough money to remake the movie twilight so that everything is exactly the same except edward cullen is played by kanye west and kanye west doesnt have a script and isn’t even aware of what the plot of the movie is, he’s just kanye west reacting to twilight in real time

#i didn’t know i wanted this until now

Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.

plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter


when i was younger i thought it was weird plankton was married to a computer

then i realized

i am plankton

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About me

My name is Jared. I'm a sixteen year old kid who loves Adventure Time and nothing else. I live in Arizona, so my life as a whole is pretty boring. I need new people. Chances are you and I are soulmates.

So, yeah. If you've read this much, and you don't know me outside of the internet, I'm flattered and want to be your friend or husband.


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